How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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