I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
