i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
