SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
