Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Even my vagina gasped.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
