I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
