what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
