She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
