yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
