There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
