exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
