he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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