Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
