i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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