I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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