Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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