MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
