I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
