Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
