Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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