We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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