Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
