I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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