i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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