this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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