I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
