Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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