I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
