What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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