Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
