I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
