hotel room ftw
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
