and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
