Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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