so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize