sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
