Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
