if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
