That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
