ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
