:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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