haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
