Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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