Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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