that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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