In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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