For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
