my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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