Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
