So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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