In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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