Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
