I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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