Got a toothbrush?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
