stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
