He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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